To Be a Mother
by Juiz
Summary: Temari had a hard time adjusting to a normal family dynamic. Her mom died when she was very young, and her dad was not a great person, who also died, and she grew up fearing her little brother. She's self conscience about her ability to be a mother because of this. (A head-canon submitted to me.)


**Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, what you see below is merely fanfiction.**

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><p><em>This is a one-shot story about what it means to be a mother in the eyes of Temari. There will by no lemons in this one and it's merely trying to convey a big part of Temari's life around the time of her pregnancy. This is a head-canon idea I received anonymously via tumblr, so the original concept is not mine. So enjoy! Also, if you like this, then please don't hesitate to ask me to fulfill your head-canons for any Naruto characters. I would love too do just that and it gives me more ideas to work with! Also, if you liked my first one-shot, A Love Like This, please give me some feedback, negative or positive works! The same goes for this. Thank you and please enjoy!<em>

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><p><em><strong>Head canon:<strong>_ Temari had a hard time adjusting to a normal family dynamic. Her mom died when she was very young, and her dad was not a great person, who also died, and she grew up fearing her little brother. She's self conscience about her ability to be a mother because of this. - _Submitted by anonymous via tumblr._

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><p><strong>To Be a Mother<strong>

Temari's belly was getting larger by the day it seemed. A small human was growing inside her, no thanks to her no good husband Shikamaru Nara. Still, she couldn't help but smile pleasantly at the bulge, and placing her hand over it time and time again.

Being a mother was not something she had ever thought about, or even desired back when she was younger. Sitting right here though, on the verge of going into labor any day now, she could see it. She wanted to hold him, love him and care for him in anyway she could. Often she found herself wondering what he would look like. Would he have her features or would his father be dominant throughout. Out of selfishness, she hoped he looked like her more.

"Temari." A monotone voice spoke behind her. She knew the face behind the voice, and it gave her chills sometimes.

The blonde kunoichi turned, eyelids heavy while she glanced at a face that looked so nonchalant she often thought about slapping it to give him a different look. "Shikamaru?"

He knew that look so well, and he could tell just by a simple glance that she was annoyed with him already after having only said one word. Still he kept on, a small smile coming to his lips. "It's troublesome, but I have to go see Naruto. Something about a mission that he can't make sense of. Typical." He rolled his dark eyes as he scratched the back of his head.

Shikamaru had been out of the house a lot recently. Catering to the needs of the Hokage and helping those who needed it, even though he found it all so tiresome most of the time. But, much like his father before him, he was a good man, and wanted to see to every need of Konoha as best as he could. Though, the dark circles under his eyes proved that this job was taking it's toll on him.

_It's what he gets for wanting to assist the Hokage. Fool. _Temari thought to herself as she rose from her seated position on the porch of the Nara compound. His wife gave him a smirk while walking towards him. "With all this work you're doing, I think you won't even be around for the birth of our son." She gave a bitter laugh and a cold glare towards his direction.

The ninja didn't seem phased by her comment as his hand went up to her cheek. Despite the demeanor he gives off, there was a soft spot he had reserved just for her, and Temari's skin heated at the touch. "If I could, I would stay here. You know I would." He stroked her flushed cheek with his thumb, adding to the flames that were heating up inside her. Pregnancy had given her emotions and desires she had never anticipated and the smallest touch did bizarre things to her.

Her green eyes looked away from him, suddenly embarrassed by his words. "Tch'.." Her cheeks puffed up slightly and Shikamaru couldn't help but chuckle at his wife. And she turned those piercing eyes on him with the malicious intent. "What!"

"You're just a troublesome woman." He said before leaning into her and kissing the person he most cherished in the world.

At first she resisted and then gave in to him, bringing forth her own passion into the kiss, nearly making the male flustered right before he had to go see the Hokage. So he pulled away, blushing wildly. "Damned woman." He couldn't even look at her while she stood there and laughed at him.

Shikamaru took off shortly after, placing his hands in his pockets, casually walking out the door after saying his farewells to both his wife and his unborn child. Temari watched him go until she could no longer see him then shut the door softly. The expecting mother placed a hand firmly on her stomach, rubbing where her son had kicked her roughly, wincing some at the pain. "Not so rough." Her words were spoken softly now while she walked away from the door to go rest outside on the deck once more.

Walking past a picture frame she stopped and looked at it, even picking it up to admire who was in it. It was a photo of herself and her siblings: Gaara, the Kazekage and Kankurou, the adviser to his own brother. Neither of them were smiling in the photo, and they were so young. Gaara seemed out of place and intimidating, even in the photo she looked terrified of him. There was no telling what he might do during those times. He was unstable and unpredictable. Now things were different, the dynamic had changed in their small family, everything was simple, and easygoing. She gave a small smile to the photo and placed it back down.

Next to it was a photo of her mother. Temari didn't touch it. Her mother had died during Gaara's birth and at first she didn't think she would ever forgive him, but she knew now that it wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. Kami had wanted her. But still, she found herself longing for her mother during this time in her life. She didn't know how to be a mother, didn't know what to expect because she didn't get to have her mother long in her life. There was so much left to be learned. And her father wasn't much help either, he had been distant always and being the Kazekage didn't help much. So that fatherly support in her life was gone too. How was she supposed to be a good mother if she didn't know where to start.

Temari couldn't look at the picture any longer so she walked away heading towards the porch where she longed to be. Fresh air would help clear these doubtful thoughts she had. The air smelled like cherry blossoms and pink petals fell from the tree that leaned against the Nara compound. Being in Konoha was definitely different. No sand blew around to make it hard to breath in sometimes. It was hot in the afternoons, and cold at night. Everything seemed perfect in the Hidden Leaf village.

Even with all the things to distract her outside, her thoughts were still plagued with doubt. But something much more than doubt; fear. Fear that she wouldn't be a good mother. Fear that her son would grow to despise her and never talk to her. She also feared that she couldn't be able to give her son what he wanted in life and that nothing she gave him would mean a thing to her. Mostly she feared that she wouldn't know how to be a mother.

Temari hated when these thoughts plagued her and Shikamaru wasn't around to tell her they were meaningless and abstract. She didn't want to end up like her father towards her son, and never be there for him when he needed her most. But what if she loved him too much and smothered him? What if she annoyed him and embarrassed him? She didn't want to do anything that would cause him to hate her.

She clenched her fists tightly, looking down at her stomach once more. "Please don't hate me, I wouldn't know what to do." Her son kicked her as if responding to her words, making her sigh heavily and then she laughed.

Did it really matter if she embarrassed him, or loved him too much? That was what a mother was supposed to do right? She thought back to the vague memories of her own mother's hugs. They were warm, loving and full of kindness. They were the softest hugs she had ever gotten. Temari wanted to give hugs like that to her own son. She wanted to pick him up and hold him until he no longer wanted to be. She wanted to send him off to school with a kiss on the forehead that made him angry. She wanted to scold him, play with him and kiss him over and over. Mostly she wanted to protect him, protect him with her love and with her life. This was her child that was growing inside her. It was a sensation that made her feel a million different emotions, but none could triumph over the overabundance of love she felt. Doubting herself would always be there lurking in the back of her thoughts, but to be a mother meant you have to doubt yourself sometimes but mostly importantly it meant you had to protect the love and light of your life.

That night Temari curled herself against her husband. He placed his hand on her belly, rubbing circles over and over on the bare taught skin. "What are you thinking?" He asked, honestly curious about her thoughts.

She smiled into the darkness. "I was thinking of a name that would suit our son."

"What is that?"

"How about Shikadai."


End file.
